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‘I Hate Myself Every Single Day’: Amber Guyger Wishes Botham Jean Had a Gun and Killed Her Instead


Murder defendant and former police officer Amber Guyger testified Friday that she felt “like a piece of crap” for shooting Botham Shem Jean, 26. She said that she wished he was the one who had a gun and killed her instead.

The defense says Guyger mistook the victim’s apartment at the South Side Flats apartment complex for her own residence; they say she believed he was an intruder. She fatally shot him, and now prosecutors are trying to get her convicted of murder.

Guyger testified Friday that she shot Jean because she was scared in the moment. It was only after the shooting that she realized she was in the wrong apartment.

The prosecution argues her mistake was completely unreasonable and unprotected by the law.

Guyger, for her part, testified that she hates herself.

“I hate that I have to live with this every single day of my life,” she said, in often tearful testimony. “And I ask God for forgiveness, and I hate myself every single day. I feel like I don’t deserve the chance to be with my family and friends.”

She said she wished that Jean was the one with the gun and killed her instead.

“I never wanted to take an innocent person’s life,” she said.

During the direct examination, the defense got her to discuss that she had general safety concerns with living in the area, and that she woke up 5:30 a.m. that day and didn’t always get a full night’s rest.

The defense said in opening statements that Guyger was running on “auto-pilot” and exhausted from overtime at work. Jean’s death was a tragedy, but the only justice in the case would be to find her innocent, said the defense.

The prosecution is trying to make the case that Guyger’s mistakes were unreasonable under the law, and that she was preoccupied with herself as Jean died in his apartment.

[Screengrab via Law&Crime Network]

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